The Top 50 Star Wars Fan Freakouts
It’s not 500 but it’s a start. These all really happened.
Some are older but they’re mostly from the past 10 years, aka the Golden Age of Losing Our Shit.
Let’s start with the most recent one…
50. The Story Group is going to get rid of the EU
49. Michael Arndt hired to write Episode VII
48. Michael Arndt fired from writing Episode VII
47. Yoda isn’t a puppet anymore!
46. That Weird Al song just ruined the ending of Episode I
45. Special Edition Jabba looks nothing like ROTJ Jabba
44. Karen Traviss throws hissy fit, stops writing Imperial Commando
43. OOT released on DVD, but not the OOT I wanted
42. Nute Gunray is obviously supposed to be a Republican
41. A Star Destroyer is much bigger than that!
40. How can Jabba have a son? IT MAKES NO SENSE
39. Episode I is totally racist you guys
38. Episode II is all mushy dialogue and I hates it
37. How could Leia have remembered her mom? But not Luke? It makes no seeeeeeeense
36. Young Obi-Wan is going to be played by that pants-dropping dude from Trainspotting
35. Ziro the Hutt is ruining Star Wars and, quite possibly, the world
34. 3D rereleases have been scrapped
33. Episode VII won’t be released in May
32. They made Darth Vader into an annoying little kid!
31. They made Darth Vader into a whiny teenage stalker!
30. Gay characters added to The Old Republic game
29. Dash Rendar is just a stupid Han Solo ripoff
28. OMG! They killed Chewie! You bastards!
27. Celebration VI is going to be in Florida? Again?
26. Darth Vader shouts NOOOOOOOOO and I felt embarrassed to be alive
25. N SYNC has a cameo in Episode II!
24. The Clone Wars is totally screwing up Mandalorian culture
23. Somebody made the Phantom Edit and I saw it and I’m conflicted
22. Darth Maul is alive? Wut?
21. They cast _________ in Episode I/II/III/VII/the live-action show
20. Anakin Solo died because the Prequels demanded it!
19. They canceled Battlefront III when it was almost finished!
18. Boba Fett couldn’t have survived the sarlaac, that’s obviously just fiction
17. Starkiller (or was it Vader?) started the Rebel Alliance
16. I just saw the Holiday Special for the first time and now I don’t know what to believe
15. It’s clear that ________’s appearance on The Clone Wars is destroying Star Wars canon
14. Jar Jar is SO annoying
13. Wait, Luke and Leia are twins now?
12. Darth Vader shouts NOOOOOOOOO on the ROTJ Blu-ray
11. Hayden Christensen’s smirking transparent head appears on Sebastian Shaw’s body
10. The Force is just a bunch of midiwhatzeeins?!?
9. That rumored project that was never even announced has been canceled!
8. Dark Horse Comics loses its license
7. LucasArts is shut down
6. JJ Abrams announced as director
5. Han shoots second
4. The Clone Wars gets canceled
3. Mara Jade gets killed
2. Vader is Luke’s father
1. Disney buys Lucasfilm, announces Episode VII
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